Stopping Animal Sexual Abuse and Use of Animals to Sexually Abuse People

Bestiality is sexual abuse of animals.  People having sexual contact with animals for their own gratification, or using animals sexually to demean and injure others, is animal sexual abuse.

So what’s this got to do with a blog with a heavy focus on people abuse and kink?

A lot, actually.

I found out some information related to this topic a few months ago that has had me extremely worried.

I also really love animals in general – in a healthy way.  I’ve always had pets, who have always been cherished companions, and I take the responsibility to protect these creatures we bring into our lives seriously.  I’ve done animal rescue and other volunteer work in the past, both throughout the Bay Area, California, and nationally, and undoubtedly will again.  I make financial donations to support groups that engage in this work.

And of course, I have a strong, long-standing interest in the topic of abuse in general.

So, the topic has been on my mind for a while, and I finally realized I may as well use my blog to explore it.

One of the things I certainly can do is try to further understanding of this perversion, and the very real damage it does, both to the animals in question – and to the people involved, particularly if the animal is used as a tool to abuse her (usually a woman or child) with.  I can open the door to discussion to a) help people understand the extent of the problem and why it’s so bad, and b) give people who have been victimized this way in some manner a place to vent and share their feelings with other victims, if they so choose.  We aren’t allowed to even discuss what’s wrong with bestiality on Fetlife, so I’m opening up a platform for it here, as another aspect of abuse in general.  The role that bestiality plays in abuse in general and in BDSM – and why it has everything to do with the former and nothing at all to do with the latter – needs to be aired.

This topic is *not* going to a major focus of this blog, have no fear, but it’s one aspect of the whole abuse picture, so it deserves a place at the table, so to speak.  I don’t know of any other website that brings them together to look at them as a package like this, but the relationship is solid.

Sadly, there is a segment of the population who actually considers this to be a legitimate kink, and some even consider it a valid sexual orientation.  I am not going to go into all of the horrifying twaddle many of these people posit as justification for these horrifyingly skewed views.  I don’t care what their excuses are – bestiality is nonconsensual by definition, because animals lack the capacity to give consent.

It’s the same thing with children and child sexual abuse.  Both animals and children depend on adults to protect them, and having sex with them is one of the most flagrant violations of trust possible.

The fact that sex with animals cannot possibly be consensual lands it firmly in the camp of being abuse, plain and simple.  Sorry, but in these two areas, your kink is just not OK on any level, end of story.

I don’t care if you, the person, likes it, or what role you’re placing the animal in.  The animal cannot consent.  Period.  That’s abuse of the animal, however you slice it. Continue reading

Myself Without You

“Myself Without You”
sung by Reba McEntire

When you walked out that door
I was so sure my world had ended
So sure I’d never get over you

On that first night alone
I cried so many tears it scared me
So many dreams that I had to let go
But now I know

That the world still turns and the sun still burns
And that’s what I’ve learned without you
And the days roll on and my heart gets stronger too
Don’t think I didn’t love you
Just because I made it through
But I learned to love myself
Without you

I take myself to dinner
And I go to the movies solo
That’s something I never did before

You may not understand this
But I don’t wait on invitations
I’m not afraid of the great unknown
Of being alone cause

The world still turns and the sun still burns
And that’s what I’ve learned without you
And the days roll on and my heart gets stronger too
Don’t think I didn’t love you
Just because I made it through
But I learned to love myself
Without you

I can even see myself
Falling in love with somebody else
Ready to take that chance again
Cause I know now
What I didn’t know then

That the world still turns and the sun still burns
And that’s what I’ve learned without you
And the days roll on and my heart gets stronger too
Don’t think I didn’t love you
Just because I made it through
But I learned to love myself
Without you

A Submissive’s Needs

Wants vs Needs

(author unknown)

We often confuse these two things: I WANT and I NEED. Although they may seem to be the same at first glance, there is a huge difference in the two. We want a lot of things in life; money, new cars, a beautiful home, success, and hot fudge sundaes, just to name a few. But how many of them do we really need? Very often the things we want are not always things that are the best for us and are usually self-indulgent wishes that change as fast as the top ten hits on VH1. “Needs” are a different situation. They are the fundamentals we require to remain mentally and physically healthy and allow us to grow spiritually and emotionally. I may really want a hot fudge sundae but survive quite well without it. But, I cannot thrive without my basic needs being met.

We’ve had many encounters with unhappy submissives who bemoan the fact their Dominant does not give them what they need. As we listen to the list of complaints, we sometimes find a lot of “wants” mixed in with a few valid “needs” in the charges against their Dominant. Sorting them out isn’t always easy for either the submissive or Dominant in a relationship. Each person is unique and comes with their own special requirements. Without a doubt, this is one area that requires communication skills and time before either party can confidently determine what they want or need from the other. The Submissive Owner’s Manual may help you to understand some of the complexities of the Dominant/submissive relationship.

Submissive Owner’s Manual

I need to feel safe

  • Before I can begin to open my submissive nature to You, I need to feel safe and have reason to trust You. To let down my walls and give You control of my will may take time and testing before I feel safe enough to permit either of us to go beyond the initial stages of our relationship. Even after I’ve given myself to You fully, I need to be reminded I am safe with You. I may like to feel the thrill and excitement of fear and the unknown, but I need to be sure no matter how You stimulate those emotions during an intense scene or situation, I will remain safe in Your care.

I need to know You accept me for all I am

  • I will be many things to You as our relationship grows and I need to know You accept me as a person during each transition along the way. I need to know You accept me as a friend, lover, companion, and Your submissive but also accept me as parent, child, employee, community member or other roles I fill in my obligations to family or society.

I need to have clearly defined limits

  • I need to know exactly what You expect of me and know that You also understand my limits. In some ways I am like a child that needs a fence around my play area so I know how far I can go and feel secure inside those limits. I need You to reinforce those fences by correcting me when I try to climb them without Your approval.

I need You to be consistent

  • I need to know You mean what You say and that today’s rules will apply to tomorrow’s behavior. Nothing confuses me more than giving me mixed signals by allowing me to break rules that You’ve given me. From time to time I may test You to see if You are capable of accepting control of my life by consistently bringing me back to the path You’ve chosen for me. It’s not done to try Your patience, but is my way of finding reassurance You are paying attention to my progress. Very often it’s not done consciously and I promise I’ll not use it as a method for provoking Your negative responses. Continue reading