Collecting Newbies

Why is it that some abusers seem to make a habit of collecting all kinds of newbies as friends in places like Fetlife and elsewhere in the scene?

“All kinds” translating to “very young, hot girls”.  Lots of very young, hot girls.  More and more young, hot girls.

Virtually never guys.

And let’s not leave out the other women who maybe aren’t so young, or as inexperienced – again, either almost too young to be legal, or depraved beyond words (even by their own admission), or even ones who have committed felonies and posted about them online.

Again, virtually never men.

As in, if you look at their profiles, you’ll see mostly women.  Girls.  Women whose profiles reveal that they themselves are unsafe at any speed, that they have death wishes, that they are sicker than sick, even by their own admission?

Or they simply have no idea where they fit or what they’re doing because they’re that new – and therefore beyond vulnerable.

And they’re going to get completely fucked up if they get involved in any way with these guys who have no fucking idea how to actually control themselves in play if they aren’t getting exactly what they want.  Or, more precisely, refuse to control themselves so that they don’t injure partners who might, you know, actually have limits.

Some of those “dominants” style themselves as “father figures” to these innocent young things – a really terrifying proposition.  Nothing like an abuser having his own little harem of sweet young thangs who he can lead astray in any way he wants to because they generally leave their brains at the door at those tender ages.

Hell, because many female subs check their brains at the door, particularly when they are new.  Some of them never go back to retrieve said brains.

I think you can take much of the measure of such people by the sorts of friends they have.  Guys who have mostly vastly younger women friends are, shall we say, likely not people you’d want to trust with your daughter.  Or with your own sub.  Or with anyone you’re protecting.

So, yeah.  It’s not news that abusers tend to collect the young and innocent like this.  It’s just as shocking the 10o0th time you see it as the first, particularly if you know the guys in question well.  And it’s just as likely to be a sign that someone is up to no good as it ever was.


One thought on “Collecting Newbies

  1. Being involved in the scene myself I have a few thoughts on this one. Of course abusers are going to leech onto the vulnerable young newbies these newbies have nothing to compare their experiences too with said abusers and may think that this is the norm in the bdsm world. I have fallen into that trap myself I have to say more then once. A lot of girls as well who enter the bdsm world are looking for the ‘daddy’ figure because as one therapist pointed out to me many are from abused homes and crave such a figure in their life to give them guidance something they may have missed as a child .As well coming from an abused home the behaviour may seem normal to them. Sadly abusers are very well aware of this and know just how to pick on the right girls.

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