Have You Experienced Abuse in a BDSM Setting?

Leatherati has a survey on its website whose results unfortunately don’t particularly surprise me.  Asking “Have you experienced nonconsensual abuse during BDSM activities?), as of the moment, the totals are running as follows:

Yes – 57.5%

No – 37.7%

Maybe – 4.7%

This means that as many as 62.2% of the respondents may have indeed experienced abuse in a kink setting.

More than sixty two percent!

That’s almost 2/3 of the respondents.

Even if we leave off those “maybes”, that’s still more than 50% of the respondents having this kind of problem.

I spoke in a prior post about how awareness of the issue of abuse in the BDSM community is growing, and how then-IMsL titleholder Mollena Williams had asked, during one of her presentations, how many people were survivors of sexual abuse. Three quarters of the room stood or raised a hand.  That’s 75% of the people there.  Then she asked how many others knew a survivor – and the entire rest of the room was in.

That’s 100% of our population who has either experienced kink-related abuse – the vast majority at 75% – or at least knows someone who has.

These are obviously not scientifically valid samplings, but the numbers are damning, regardless of how specifically accurate they are.  Until such time as someone comes up with the funds to do a larger scale, properly constructed study, they will have to serve as representative.

The numbers will vary with such informal surveys, but the fact that we are even anywhere remotely near even half of our people being so affected, never mind forming a majority, is absolutely untenable.

 

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One thought on “Have You Experienced Abuse in a BDSM Setting?

  1. Just a thought here. I basically agree with what you are saying here. However, I have known more than one woman that classified what they desired sexually as “sexual abuse” and almost every one of them felt that getting prior consent ruined the experience for them. Now there is no denying that they all had some baggage but I don’t remember ever meeting a submissive female in my 20+ years in the lifestyle that didn’t have some sexual baggage. What are you suggesting a Dominant do with such partners? Simply avoid them? Somehow that doesn’t seem fair. I know my oversized ego always made me think I could “help” such women find some kind of sexually satisfying compromise (with very limited success, I admit) but does everyone else just let them go?

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