About This Blog

This blog is about my thoughts, feelings, and opinions about BDSM and relationships, both in general, and based on my own experiences, preferences, and beliefs. It will contain both general information as well as personal rants and diatribes at times.  It’s part diary, part educational.

As it’s evolving, I’m finding it’s turning more into a general repository of information about abusive relationships, whether in the BDSM world or in general. While the line between healthy BDSM and abuse can be rather thin, no one deserves to be abused in any context.  It is my goal to make sure that people know the signs – and know how to get out of these relationships before they are destroyed by them.

I am still going to continue to post links, information, and other material regarding BDSM in general, and for newbies in particular, but that’s not going to be my entire focus now.

If you have constructive comments to make, and are willing to be polite in expressing disagreement or to engage in intelligent, respectful discussion and debate, then your comments are welcome. If you just want to argue or tell me I am wrong, I reserve the right to not post those comments.

If you are offended by anything I say, think you might be, or don’t like how I write, then this may not be the place for you. No one is forcing you to read this blog.


All writings on this site are copyright by kinkylittlegirl, unless otherwise noted, and may not be used in any way without express, written permission by anyone, for any reason.

11 thoughts on “About This Blog

  1. Pingback: About This Blog – Please Read Before Anything Else « Kinkylittlegirl's Blog

  2. Pingback: About This Blog – Please Read Before Anything Else « Kinkylittlegirl's Blog

  3. I’ve been a subscriber to your blog since days before Christmas. I enjoy your blog, though I do not live in the BDSM lifestyle. Your link to Dreamwalker was enlightening and I have included his blog on my blogroll. Thank you for your candid thoughts and soul searching introspect.

  4. What’s with the reference to Sydney University? I have seen this popping up in more of these boilerplate things lately, and can’t find any info online regarding it.

    • I found it on Fetlife. Apparently someone was doing something hinky and people started posting this. I gather that some time ago, someone said they’d been contacted and put without their consent into some kind of research paper.

  5. Thank you for this blog. It’s been 8 months since I left an abusive relationship that was supposed to have been based in consensual BDSM. My healing is becoming more complete all the time, but I’m simultaneously learning exactly how prevalent abuse really in BDSM. Your work is so very needed. Thank you, thank you.

  6. i am a 30 yr old woman who has been in a 24/7 bdsm relationship for almost 9 months (with weekends off – its complicated in many, many ways). I am looking for some advice. I have read parts of your blog and respect your views. Would love to make friends. My email is freeopenspace at gmail dot com if you get a chance to write. I will look on this site for a contact email. Thanks for having this website.

  7. I survived, barely, an unthinkably abusive relationship with a narcissistic dom. I had my truth turned upside down. I had my reputation destroyed – all because I dared to leave behind the lies, the cheating, the silent treatments, the undermining, the mockery, the feet stomping, the secret back-ups, the slander, the ‘you’re not a real submissive’, the ‘my new slave/little girl/sub is so much more deserving of me than you, she has no needs, she wouldn’t dare to ask for anything’, the co-written hate mail, the stalking, the searching and searching for each blog I had to recreate to escape being followed, all while being ‘in love with the perfect little girl’. It is quite surreal to be the target of a vendetta by someone who had not a single day off tormenting me and abusing me emotionally once his Hyde was exposed. It turns out that the single greatest threat to a narcissist is to literally erase every trace of them. That is what inspires the truly horrendous abuse. I will be fine because I was fortunate to receive validation in my formative years and know my own worth, my own truth, but thank you on behalf of anyone, man or woman, kinky or vanilla, who came here and recognised their own story in yours. It is people like you that strengthen my faith in humanity. So once more. Thank you. Ellie

    • You are more than welcome, Ellie. I’m sorry you had to go through this, but glad you have the emotional wherewithall to withstand the onslaught. Knowing I have been able to help even one person by sharing my own stories and exposing these kinds of tactics in general make all the trauma I have suffered, including the destruction of my own reputation, all worthwhile.

      Know, too, that in time, his tactics will become known, and you will end up vindicated. I’ve been seeing signs of that happening my own self.

      And thank you for sharing your own story. It is only through more and more of us speaking out that we have any hope of stomping this kind of crap out, of making sure that others who need to know are indeed able to find the help they need and know that they are truly not alone.

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