Characteristics of the Narcissist

from the Narcissistic Abuse website:

CHARACTERISTICS of the NARCISSIST and others with Personality Disorders

These apply to males and females.

1. Self-centered. His needs are paramount.

2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds.

3. Unreliable, undependable.

4. Does not care about the consequences of his actions.

5. Projects faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his fault.

6.  Little if any conscience.

7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others.

8.  Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others.

9.  Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and rage.

10.  People are to be manipulated for his needs.

11.  Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his gain at other’s expense.  If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry.

12. Pathological lying.

13. Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, others.

14.  No real values.  Mostly situational.

15.  Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate.

16.  Angry, mercurial, moods.

17.  Uses sex to control

18.  Does not  share ideas, feelings, emotions.

19.  Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word.

20. Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment.

21. Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities.

22.  Likes annoying others. Likes to create chaos and  disrupt for no reason.

23.  Moody – switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation.

24.  Repeatedly fails to honor financial obligations.

25.  Seldom expresses appreciation.

26.  Grandiose. Convinced he knows more than others and is correct in all he   does.

27.  Lacks ability to see how he comes across to others.  Defensive when confronted with his behavior.  Never his  fault.

28.  Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow.

29.  He breaks woman’s spirits to keep them dependent.

30.  Needs  threats, intimidations to keep others close to him.

31.  Sabotages partner. Wants her to be happy only through him and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances.

32.  Highly contradictory.

33. Convincing.  Must convince people to side with him.

34. Hides his real self.  Always “on”

35. Kind only if he’s getting from you what he wants.

36.  He has to be right. He has to win. He has to look good.

37.  He announces, not discusses. He tells, not asks.

38.  Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda.

39.  Controls money of others but spends freely on himself.

40.  Unilateral condition of, “I’m OK and justified so I don’t need to hear your  position or ideas”

41.  Always feels misunderstood.

42.  You feel miserable with this person. He drains you.

43.  Does not listen because he does not care.

44.  His feelings are discussed, not the partners.

45.  Is not interested in problem-solving..

46.  Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them. Sometimes called gaslighting.

I Miss… I Don’t Miss

12/22/09

Every morning I still awaken with the thought of how much I miss you, how much I want to be with you again, how much I miss being in your arms.

And then my mind changes course, and I correct it with the new thought what I miss is the good parts, not the bad. And I try to remember what they all were… Continue reading